Shame.

01.17.19 A month and ten days since a log entry, shame! I have written though. My novel, the as yet unnamed RR. (for Reanimation Rag) Part I Re-Write, occupied me until I set it down for Safe Haven Stories to which I have been contributing five hundred word additions now for the past week. I have also added a few writing exercises and blog entries. Back to RR now and determination to maintain all of my many projects without interruptions. What has kept me from it to date? Laziness; Zerizut hasair! So this last thought slipped in at the very end of my meditation. It caught me in a daydream of my men’s group LA and one X.Z who declared joyously on a ‘check in’ that he was taking delight in being lazy, sitting in a favorite chair and doing nothing. I couldn’t help but admire, first his forthrightness about taking what I saw to be an ‘anti-life- LohChaim-attitude, but later, the attitude itself. Can I adopt it? “Laziness is in old age a virtue” Yes, with a caveat. Accept it in me and waste no more time fighting it. I have declared my laziness a virtue and intend to allow me to manifest it whenever it suits me to do so. I have also re-affirmed my intention to daily put each of my projects on the table and progress them. It has been my impulsiveness that has distorted my work ethic. I impulsively grab a project, one of my stories, a painting, a sculpture, drawing, computer lessons, etc. and run with it, stopping only when exhausted. A waste! Work one hour, put it down, take a break, like a walk, or stretches, or loving words to Nancy, then on to the next in the queue. My intention. We will see how well I work with my laziness also on the table. I am also re-redefining sitting with luna on my lap. Luna is my cat and I am spending a lot of time with her, petting and loving her. I called this, not a waste of time, but work. Contributing more love to the universe. Well, that’s over. It is not work, it is pure laziness and a win-win for both luna and me. I will employ the behavior liberally in pacing my day. (Note the language here. I do resist laziness. Okay, caught it. Now on to my morning. My beloved is up and breakfast awaits.

3 Responses to “Shame.”

  1. Nadine Says:

    Oooh, I love your blog! Found it via your comment on Göran’s poem yesterday. Can’t believe I’m only the second “follower” here! Just goes to show that sometimes the best blogs are the least followed.

    I love your idea for projects management. I have the same problem! Also, your blog is the first place I remember ever seeing the word “tulpa,” which having now looked it up is a concept I love and understand completely. I believe I have one of these.

    • theholodoc Says:

      Hi Nadine. Thanks for checking me out. You are only the second, because I didn’t intend to make this all that public. I started it because I entered a challenge to write five hundred words a day and thought I should post them so the other participants could follow if they wished. That was where I met Goran. I did complete the challenge, and the sponsors were correct, thirty days of writing did become a habit and I have not missed more than half a dozen since, and those were due to illness. I did remove much of what I had posted as those writings are becoming part of a novel I am writing on tulpamancy and I will publish it when completed (I am just over halfway through the first draft). I suspect that having looked up ‘Tulpa’ you have found the forums on HomeTulpa.info. I am Theholodoc on the forums. An interesting way to learn a lot more is to check out Loxy Isadora Bliss’s book Underneath It All. Loxy is a tulpa created by John Erik Ege (writing as Ion Light and solarchariot on the forums). Hope we can communicate again, yours, Dr. Bob Newport

      • Nadine Says:

        Oh wow that is amazing about the tulpa info, thanks for sharing, I certainly did not go that deep. I’ve become a kind of octopus with tentacles in far too many places. Also I feel I understand the tulpa immediately so have no interest in exploring it further except perhaps through your blog as a kind of shared experience. I tend to go down the rabbit hole on things I don’t understand but not things that I do understand. That is so impressive, seriously impressive that you are halfway through the first draft of a novel on tulpamancy… I am jealous. I keep starting novels but never have gotten halfway through. I did the 500 word challenge as well, also would like to delete my posts (which were published to Medium) and make a book out of them, but keep getting distracted by other projects. Before that I did a thousand words per day for 3 years, was more my jive. I didn’t publish those though. kind of miss those days. I don’t hold much stock in titles, but love anyway from Nondoctor Nadine

critiques welcome. Dr. Robert

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