Tulpamancy Journal. 28

03.23.19 6:10 am. Last dream of the night. I walked into a room, it could have been my library on wonderland. The young woman, whom I had identified as Flora in my lucid dream of two nights ago, was sitting at a library table, reading a book. I looked at her, I was startled by the recognition, I spoke her name; “Flora!” She looked up at me, smiled, and I awoke suddenly. It was twenty minutes after six am. I had invited Flora into my space each time I got in bed, I was up several times during the night. I also reminded myself to test my lucidity by speaking her name. I find myself confused. Why did I go from REM sleep, THROUGH lucidity, “Flora” into full wakefulness? The shock got me not only awake but out of bed and making this record. I am ambivalent about this woman. She was right out of a dream in which I identified her first as Flora, then as my first wife (aged 17, circ: 1962)  I am awaiting further clues.

I felt that she was close during my afternoon meditation. I was in the hot tub under a blue sky, graced with white and gray fluffy clouds moving eastward. I invited Flora to reveal herself to me and then went into silence. I watched the clouds travel the sky, at one point I recalled the image from the dream, I was looking at a child. Perhaps 16, 17 years old. An adolescent at best. I remembered my friend Cassey. I was in love with her, for one night, a Christmas eve. She had invited me over. I had taken a small dose of L.S.D. and when I walked into her house, and she greeted me in the glow of a decorated and lit  Christmas Tree, I saw her as holy.  She was filled with Divine Light. We made love on the floor amongst the wrapped presents. I have never forgotten the sacredness of the experience. Cassie’s coloration was the same as the girl in the dream. Cassie would have been perhaps ten years older. She could be contributing the color and the short hair. I then looked into the clouds and I saw an adult feminine figure in the clouds.  I felt that Flora was sending me a message. She is not a child. She can be child-like, shy and playful, but decidedly not a child. She is a fully formed adult. I know because I saw her in the clouds. An important meditation and milestone.