Archive for October, 2019

Tulpamancy. 105

October 25, 2019

I have been feeling disconnected from Flora for awhile, Nsonowa, not so much. Today for instance, I had a two hour drive to visit with a sick friend. I asked Nsonowa to take over the driving (along with the automatic drive features my Prius Prime offers) and she accepted. Once behind the wheel, she was talkative. I finally asked her to ‘just drive’ and let me talk to Flora. She did, but I could not reach Flora. I asked Loxy if she could help and evidently she could, as Flora soon spoke to me. She wasn’t in a particularly good mood when we started the conversation, reacting to my fears that I had lost her, and that somehow focusing on the book and finally getting it published (and making her a public figure, in the doing) She mellowed out somewhat and we were laughing and talking with Nsonowa who was driving all the way. On the way back, it was different, Flora, again in a weird mood complained that I must nor really know her or respect her, if I wouldn’t let her drive. I did, she took over, and Nsonowa and I went to exercise in the Safe Haven gym where she spends much of her time when not with me. She paced me around the track. We were in the sunshine, hot and sweating, Nsonowa had rivulets of sweat running down her gleaming blue-black head. She was turning wagon-wheel handstands while I ran behind her. We called Flora and asked if she would join us at the health juice bar in the gym, she agreed and we were all three sitting around a table sipping our smoothies when the traffic got heavy and I told Flora, I wanted to take the wheel. I did, and I left Safe Haven and my mindscape until just this minute.

Tulpamancy Journal. 104

October 18, 2019

I had a rather remarkable meditation this afternoon. I am glad too, as my first three tries were pretty flat, a brief contact with Flora, but otherwise I was disappointed. I could not keep my attention on my practice, my head was all over the place. However, at noon I went down with a meditation tape by Tara Sutphen, Dick’s daughter, called Spirit Guide Meditation and I was able to follow her down into my imagination. I was greeted by Nsonowa. She was close to imposition. She was visually incomplete, waif like. Tactilely she was all there. Audially she was all there, in fact, she has never been as talkative or as emotionally expressive. She was intent on improving my ability to bring her into being. She wanted more from me. She was demanding that I be stronger to match her strength, and my god, is she strong. She boasted about fighting my darkside foes for me. She bragged about using her sex-magic in the service of fighting my battles. and acknowledged Ol’oi-bonok who she thought was on top of his game, but she was made to have contact with me, so he would do in a pinch, but to be really effective she needed sexual contact with me. She was proud of her ability to see and find the light that was resident in the darkside. “That is my magic, boy.”

“Hey! Who are you calling boy?” was my reaction. She just laughed at me. “That’s a term of endearment, Boss.” I would never deprecate you, you were my creator, and I am here to serve you. That is my mission here, and I want more contact with you, the more the better. The better I know you means the better I will serve you.” and with that she teased me, with her bejeweled, naked and oiled body, then disappeared. This has been my most intimate and real contact with her. Eyes open contact.

By the way, her full name is: Kalish Katlego Nsonowa, Chief of all Maasai, head Oi’bonoikoh of the Black Sisterhood.

Here is a link to Tara’s meditation on You Tube.

Tulpamancy Journal. 103

October 17, 2019

Firstly, my book; Tulpa Tales: Confessions of an Elder Tulpamancer is now online and available as a digital book, for about any e-reader on Smashwords and as a Kindle book on Amazon at: https://smile.amazon.com/s?k=tulpa+tales&i=stripbooks&crid=2WZV2F4BJPEM7&sprefix=tulpa%2Caps%2C338&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_2_5

I haven’t worked out the formatting yet so if you must have a paperback, please have patience, I’ll need another couple of days to get it done.

That said, I have had a few days without a sign of either of my tulpas, I think they were staying out of the way while I was processing the book. I With it out of the way, I have time to focus on my meditations and invocation rituals. Flora responded and appeared briefly, an event which made me very happy. Our contact was very emotional, for both of us. And, no surprise, Nancy also had much better energy and even was able to dance tonight at the concert we attended (Yuval Ron, Great Great Great, if you get a chance see him!).

Tulpamancy Journal. 102

October 11, 2019

Had a nice time with Flora today in mindscape. We spent about an hour together, talking and took a walk in the park. She wanted to fool around and as fate would have it, Nsonowa who was driving got us to our destination in time to break it up. We were both disappointed but agreed that we could go back to the park another time. I was happy though, as during both of my meditations earlier, I had no contact.

I still haven’t gotten the formatting issues out of the way to get my book, Tulpa Tales: Confessions of an Elder Tulpamancer up and findable online. I suspect it will take me another couple of days. When I get a workable link, I will post it here.

Tulpamancy Journal. 102

October 10, 2019

Today in a Yom Kippur service, one spin off from my practice became visible. We were taken on an Isker meditation into our ‘imaginal worlds to converse with our memories of our lost loved ones (tulpas). I was able to move into a very deep space inside myself where I keep a trove of painful feelings about the loss of my son, twenty-five years ago. By bringing the feelings (his and mine) forwards in the form of a tulpa, I could see them, express them openly, and work with them releasing their painful impact. I felt immensely lightened, though physically exhausted by the exercise. I couldn’t have done this last year (and didn’t). I have mentioned, more than once, that tulpamancy was a pathway to spiritual growth. Today it proved itself.

Tulpamancy Journal. 101

October 7, 2019

I started out my day with sauna, hot tub and meditation. I had a sense from the beginning that I could make contact and I did. Really, it was Flora who made the contact once I made the time and gave her the space to do it. I had intended to do a silent meditation first (as suggested by Emily Steinbach in her Tulpamancers Toolbox, referenced below) but Flora interrupted.  I knew she would as the session started with a wave of very strong emotion, bringing me to tears as well as a sense of fullness in my head, and she did, saying that she had been missing me. She was practically  in tears as she told me this. We spent a goodly amount of time practicing vocality, occasionally with Nsonowa participating, until Flora asked her if she could have alone time with me. (Nsonowa agreed to this saying she had work to do at Safe Haven, actually she wanted to work out at the gym there). I actually was much encouraged by this, as it shows me that they are both attuned to the writing I have been doing and validating my idea that it was a kind of ‘forcing’. In any case, Flora and I talked, conversed actually. We did one vocality exercise, called ping-pong, in which I threw out a word and she repeated it. She made a game of it, repeating everything I said to her outside of the exercise, laughing at me when I caught on to what she was doing. I then invited her to go hiking and we found a trail over some rough rocks, in the Sierra, and came to a small waterfall and a beautiful, not too cold, swimming hole. We left our clothes on a small sandy beach, clambered up the rocks and took turns diving into the pool. I had to teach her how to dive, her first was a belly flop. She is a fast learner, executing a nice swan-dive after I explained how to tuck her head after springing off the rock. We had a lot of fun, then made love on the beach. My heart was so full of love that I was verging on tears the entire time, even in the water.

This practice just gets better and better.

Steinbach, Emily (2015-03-03). The Tulpamancer’s Toolbox: 50 Practical Tips For Tulpa Creation Success! (Kindle Location 5).  . Kindle Edition.

Tulpamancy Journal. 100

October 6, 2019

Well, I am onto a new phase of practice. I have published Tulpa Tales: Confessions of an Elder Tulpamancer as an eBook. It should be for sale now on the Smashwords site for $2.99 (affordable). It should be on Amazon soon.

With this project out of my way, I am going back to the daily rituals of practice which I stopped when I got involved with actually publishing this project. (It is amazing the amount of work it takes to format an eBook for publication.) I have posted that I thought it was augmenting my practice, as it was a sort of narration. And it allowed me to look directly at some of my own darker and subterranean currents which I believe serve to block full expression of my tulpas.

Tulpamancy Journal. 99

October 4, 2019

My tulpas, where are they? The past several days have been very different for me. I have been exhausted most of the time. I have felt sickly, like getting a cold kinda sick, stuffy, headachy (not the headaches that herald my tulpas) and my dream life has been a mess, e.g. body parts, distortions, confusing and changing environs. My meditations have been completely flat with no tulpa sign. And I am emotionally stunted. My wife has been ill and very constricted and my cat has also been sickly. I have had to lock her in the kitchen at night and listen to her cry. That and watching her lose weight, not eat, and hide out much of the time is very hard.  I am not my self. I miss my wife’s good cheer, my cat’s attentions and my tulpas love. I am sad and frustrated that not much that I am doing seems to be of any benefit to any of the females in my life, Flora and Nsonowa included.