Tulpamancy Journal. 342

Saturday, September 9, 2023, 9:19 AM

June to September and nothing much in between. With the exception of…. Through the difficulties posed by Nancy’s illness, we have grown ever closer. Not to  say we have had no hard moments, we, of course have. But those too, have served to bring us closer. I believe that Flora has been helping here. She has told me as much in our talks. Yes, we do talk regularly. Not the kind of talks that I believe are possible, in many cases they feel more like parroting, but, hey, this is all in my head, I own it, so I can call it however it suits me, right.

It is in my dreams where she feels the most real, that is to say, the most “other”. That said, I have continued my Galantamine experiments, using the med every other night at 3:AM so as to not disturb Nancy’s already poor sleep with my supposedly silent, but not so silent, wrist alarm. I have trained my self to awaken with out the alarm at 2:Something AM and turn off the alarm, then take the med. At some point I also added Mugwort tea, and took the med with a cuppa cold which I positioned on my night-table. It was too bitter to swallow quietly so I changed to a proprietary tea, Lucid Dream Tea, which contained Calendula Tea and a few others. This was too costly for me to use regularly so I purchased all of the separate ingredients in bulk and mix my own.  The psycho-active moieties being the mug-wort and the calendula. I can tolerate both the taste and the cost. Three nights ago I obtained Calea Zacatachichi, or Mexican Dream Tea. Heads up anyone trying this, it is bitter beyond belief. I solved this by crushing it and putting it in a vaporizer. This worked and this material, added to the tea and Galantamine produces the most vivid dreams, from which I am easily able to proceed to lucidity. Two nights ago, with this protocol I had a dream in which Flora found me at a party Nancy and I were hosting. She asked me what I wanted of her and I told her I wanted a girl-friend who would make passionate love with me. She asked about Nancy and I replied I would tell Nancy all about our relationship. We then went off to find her and we found her in her bed, whimpering in pain. The two of us took her in our arms and comforted her. She asked for food, and I left the two of them together and went off to find food (she wanted Chashew nut cake. ?) I found it, and awakened from the dream.

I discussed this dream with Nancy who said she was sorry I had to see her that way. This led, again, to a discussion of how privileged I feel to be able to support her, and how we both are supporting each other. We ended the discussion in each other’s arms.

Tulpamancy serves different functions for different magicians. For me, I emerged from my family of origin, with a damaged feminine model. Flora is helping me to repair that model.

My Tulpamantic mentor, John Ege, the author along with his tulpa, Loxy, of I Tulpa. Has offered me the framework for this repair. He has suggested that Flora and Nancy, are internal and external manifestations of the same soul.  This feels right to me, and fits my own hypothesis.

I am enjoying this process. I continue.

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